Stretch Your Heart

Last night my husband and I had the chance to go out with some really good friends.  I had really been looking forward to it.  Then my husband and I got into a fight.  It was a classic situation of mis- (or rather non-) communication.  I was a Super Sulk for the first bit of our outing, despite being at the super-cool new Doggery, the prohibition-era-ish place on Historic 3rd, and despite having a most delicious and lime-y daquiri, followed by the smoothest red wine I've ever tasted...  Anyway, in a fit of "how cool can we be?" we decided to continue the outing at Chester's, where we couldn't help but order the delicious chocolate cake.  I mean, honestly.

While waiting for our deliciousness to arrive, I went to powder my nose.  If you've ever experienced the ladies room at Chester's, you know that it's really rad and low-lit.  And it has a giant mirror in one corner that sits at a slant and is handy for looking at the reflection of your rear through the mirror in front of the sink on the opposite wall.  You see what I mean?  Anyway, I made the mistake of spending some time looking at the reflection of my own rear.  In all my sulkiness and high emotions, that was a grandiose mistake.

I have been on a general upswing when it comes to my self-esteem since turning 30 (a while ago...).  I get a fair amount of exercise in my role as group fitness instructor.  And, all things considered, I think I'm in pretty good shape and feel good about my body.  But it's interesting how your mind can do funny things, especially when your emotions are high.

That (stupid) mirror reflected a wide butt and short, stumpy legs.  Now I *think* that the slant of that particular mirror probably affects its accuracy, but it got me thinking about looking at our reflections.  What do we see?  Is it an accurate vision of who we really are or do we judge ourselves extra harshly based on what we see in our reflections?

And then in church this morning, the message was about spiritual hospitality.  The importance of welcoming people wherever they are on their spiritual journey, even (and maybe especially) if it's different from ours.  And how we embrace (figuratively) and accept strangers, family & friends, and ourselves.

Embrace ourselves?

It's easy to embrace strangers.  Slightly more difficult to embrace those we know and love.  And virtually impossible to embrace ourselves, where we are, who we are, what we look like, without expectation or thoughts about what we *could* be, if only...

Since conflict stays with me and affects my emotions longer than I care to admit, the fight with my hubs was still lingering and had me on high emotional alert.  That, combined with some beautiful and haunting music provided by Leon Littlebird, made me very receptive to the message of acceptance in church.  We were encouraged many times to "stretch your heart open" to strangers, friends and family, and ourselves.

So many of us feel as though we are "not there yet," striving toward something that we want.  I'm thinking specifically of the context of our bodies.  We are constantly thinking about what we want to look like, unwilling to accept ourselves and "open our hearts" to who we are, at this very moment.

And while striving toward things is generally a good thing, it's important also to make sure that you are loving yourself up at each stage of your journey.  You only have one chance to be you.  You're the only you that exists in this world, and therefore, the world would not, could not be the same without you being exactly who you are right now.

I challenge you to go look in a mirror right now.  Let everything fall away except for you and your reflection.  Forget about things that are bothering you.  Forget about that fight you had with your husband.  Forget about the worries on your mind (as Debarge once said).  Really look at yourself.  This is who you are!  It's you!  You are special and perfect just the way you are.

And speaking of Michael Franti, watch this video to hear him tell about his inspiration for the song that we all love to dance to in Empowered Wellness Zumba class.  I lovelovelove the upbeat-ness of this song, and it usually makes me want to cry when I'm dancing to it, leading a class in shaking our hearts open and our butts into shape, and he says, "You're perfect just the way you are."  With all of your imperfections, you are perfect.  How d'you like that???  I like it.  A lot.  Now, I'd better go make up with the hubs...  Even though it was all his fault...  ;)